Message posted by Chris McDowell on March 08, 2005 at 8:27:47 PST:
Reprinted from another forum: Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews. Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement." Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid." Problem: "The autopilot doesn't." Problem: "Something loose in cockpit." Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear." Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud." Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield." Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent." Problem: "IFF inoperative." Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." Problem: "Number three engine missing." Problem: "Cockpit filthy...not fit for pigs"
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Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
Solution: "Cockpit now fit for pigs"
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